The holidays can bring a flurry of emotions, and they’re not always pleasant.
Indeed, holidays don’t mean festive and joy for many. Although it’s common to have feelings of sadness, anger, etc. during this season, they can still suck—especially at a time when you should be celebrating and enjoying the company of your loved ones.
But I’m sure you have wondered why spending holidays with family can be so difficult…
Usually, it is due to unresolved issues within the family or painful childhood memories. Several studies have shown that many people experience high levels of stress during the holidays and family gatherings are a significant trigger for anxiety and depression.
These emotions have a lot to do with your inner child and the unhealed wounds.
The Inner Child
The inner child is a part of your psyche that retains your creativity, innocence, awe, and wonder toward life. We all have this inner child, which is the child that lives inside of us.
And you must maintain a good connection with your inner child as this is a sensitive part of yourself.
When you’re connected to the inner child, you will feel more inspired by life. On the other hand, when you’re disconnected from it, you feel bored, unhappy, empty, and lethargic.
Your Childhood & Inner Child
How your childhood was has a significant impact on your inner child. Therefore, we are going to look into how safe you felt when you were a child.
Here’s the truth: Not all families people are born into are the perfect match, but it’s the way it is!
It won’t come as a surprise when people feel like they were neglected during their childhood. There were situations when you might have felt unsafe. However, despite the neglect or whatnot, keep in mind that I’m not blaming your parents or guardians.
Now, the most common ways you may have made felt unsafe are:
- When you grew up thinking it’s not ok to have your own opinions.
- You were discouraged from having fun.
- You were not allowed to show strong emotions.
- You were verbally criticized.
- You were physically punished.
- You felt responsible for your parents.
- You weren’t given physical affection.
These are some of the ways that you may have felt unsafe when you were a child. Additionally, there are different types of childhood neglect.
The most common one is emotional neglect when people around you didn’t show interest in your emotional needs or condemned emotional expressions of need from you. If you were emotionally neglected as a child, you likely developed low self-worth and low self-esteem. Another thing is you have probably started ignoring your emotional needs.
Another type of neglect is psychological due to the people around you who failed to listen to, nurture, and embrace the person you were. This may have led to you developing low self-esteem issues and deep-seated anger issues. Addictions may also be a problem for you growing up. Furthermore, people who experience this in their childhood also encounter problems sustaining healthy relationships.
The last type of neglect is physical; and if you feel neglected in this area, low self-worth and an intense need for safety that manifested in unhealthy behaviors like obsessive daredevil feats, etc., are the likely outcome.
We all have childhood wounds and they play a significant role in the negative emotions you feel. During the holidays, these emotions are triggered easily.
Here’s how you can get through any negative emotions that will come up during the holiday season:
Be Mindful Of Your Emotions Around Certain People
Being mindful of how you feel when you are around certain people is important. You will know this by taking note of how you felt before you started talking to them. If you feel anxious or tired in the middle of the conversation, it’s an indicator that they are taking some energy from you. Awareness is important to overcome low energy.
Immerse Yourself In Visualization
One of the best ways to protect your energy during this time is to visualize. Here are simple steps to visualize when you feel the negative emotions resurfacing:
- Imagine yourself stable.
- Imagine a beautiful light pouring through your crown and into your body.
- Push that light from your skin.
By doing this simple visualization process, you get to reclaim your own energy and keep itclear by visualizing your own light taking up your space.
Less Talk, More Listening
During the holidays, less talk and more listening is the key to survive it. Decide to listen fully and communicate with those you speak with this season. Offer them your full attention. The gift of listening often goes underestimated.
Take Care Of Yourself Before Any Family Gatherings
Invest in yourself before the gatherings—get more rest, meditate, etc. When you show up for yourself, you are doing yourself a valuable service and for those around you.
Be mindful of your boundaries. Say yes or no when you feel like it. If you don’t want to attend a gathering because you know it could trigger negative emotions, then politely say no. No one will respect your boundaries if you don’t respect yourself first.
Are you ready to face these emotions?
You are, it’s time to heal and hopefully, look forward to holidays and family gatherings in the future.