If you are a parent or work with children, you have no doubt heard of attunement.
Attunement is described as an emotional connection that is closely tied to various attachment styles ranging from healthy to maladaptive.
When a baby is born, emotional communication begins with the baby and the primary caregiver.
Although historically, infants were thought of as not having emotions and not aware of their surroundings, we now know this isn’t true.
And because adults and infants are inextricably connected and in constant communication through their emotions, most of this communication is actually non-verbal.
When we think of an attuned caregiver, we describe it as a “sense”, “maternal instinct”, “patience”, or even “unconditional love”.
Thus, how the caregiver responds to their baby determines what emotions that baby will experience.
And how these interactions play out greatly influences how an infant will behave toward others as they grow into childhood and adulthood.
Even as adults, humans communicate primarily without words.
The deepest levels of our brain evaluate the tone of voice, facial expressions, gaze, and body posture.
Body language experts know that 70 to 93% of communication is non-verbal but how much of this is shown by attunement?
All of it, of course!
Because when we are engaged, interested, and empathize with what’s being said and communicated, we connect in a deeper way.
Dr. Dan Siegel says,
“When we attune with others, we allow our own internal state to shift, to come to resonate with the inner world of another.
This resonance is at the heart of the important sense of “feeling felt” that emerges in close relationships. Children need attunement to feel secure and to develop well, and throughout our lives, we need attunement to feel close and connected.”
In adult relationships, attunement might look like this:
An adult who asks, “How are you?” to a friend and senses that the response of “I’m fine” doesn’t actually mean that.
And digs a little deeper to find out what’s going on, and takes an interest in the underlying causes that are affecting the friend’s demeanor.
With a little curiosity, patience, and compassion, attunement is not difficult.
And it is also an important self-care exercise you can do for yourself.
Next time you’re feeling out of sorts and irritable or moody, gently ask yourself what is happening to you and listen closely.
Because attunement towards yourself is the start of your healing journey.
PS: Use the reminders with your Sacred Sound Healing System tracks to raise your vibrations and heal with us.